Now is the second stage, which has always scared the hell out of me. But I have to face it anyways, and the good thing is that the first experience is not such an important one. Funny how priorities change so suddenly. One day I would be willing to take anything that came my way, only to discard it later as not too important.
I have to read so much in the coming days, which I have been putting off for months, citing some excuse or the other. The office seems like a different place altogether, more like a "I don't care about anyone anymore" type of scenario. I will be glad to be out of here, which will make me the happiest that I have been in years. Never anticipated these feelings when I joined here a year and a half ago. But this whole time has been a huge learning experience for me. Things that no one else could teach me in plain words. Things that I will never forget for the rest of my life.
Strangely enough, I feel very calm despite all the fear that is bubbling within. No panic (though I do lose it once in a while), and I feel much more confident than before. There isn't much to celebrate right now, everything looks like a compromise. But I still have hope. I don't know why but I can't let go off this feeling that something good is going to happen. Something that I have been waiting for; for a very long time. I can't remember the last time when I was crazy happy, and it is long overdue.
:)
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